I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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