that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
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