PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
