so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
