I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
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Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
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Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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