VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize