Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
