The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Randomize
