We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize