these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
