just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
soo... how was my night?
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
