return my video game
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
