it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Don't make out with my wife yet
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
