I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
