i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
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