i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
