Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
