Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
false alarm. still invincible.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
