You made me cry and you don't even care
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
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