Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
