I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
