Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
