Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
