it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
