I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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