Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
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