i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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