Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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