meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
