i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Randomize
