Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
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he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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