I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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