so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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