I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
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