Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
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