Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
