My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
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