weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize