Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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