You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
So vagazzling was a success
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
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