dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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