My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Randomize
