Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Randomize
