Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
