Ambien. No doubt about it.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
