I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Randomize