i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
