but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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