Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
