You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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