Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
