What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
