The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
she smelled like a LAN party
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Randomize
