I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
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