Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
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