its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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