I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
