Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
