dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
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