No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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