Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Randomize
